In honor of our most recent addition I thought I would start a blog. Seems the best way for everyone to keep up to date on our BOYS :)That's right! On the night of Saturday, February 9th we received a call at 11:30pm. Jason was still awake watching basketball (a rarity that he is up that late) and the birthmom that we had been casually talking to for about a month went into labor and gave us a call to tell us to get on a plane!
A little background on the situation - At the end of December we received an email from a young lady who was looking to place her unborn child. We hit if off via email and began talking nearly every day..just casual conversations mostly. She contacted our agency and began the paperwork process, although we never officially matched due to a number of reasons. So we went forward and decided to not mention this possibility to anyone..the HARDEST decision ever! We had a matched that failed after a 4 month relationship and everyone was devastated - neither one of us wanted to put ourselves or our family and friends through that again, so we decided since it was so "up in the air" to not tell anyone. All the while we had a really nice email relationship with this birthmom. She and her husband were certain they wanted to place this child due to already having 4 young children at home. She was officially due on 1/26 but said she normally went early..so we were always prepared for THE phone call. Well, 1/26 rolled around and although she was having contractions and other issues no baby came. A week later still no baby. Another week later - we get the call! She called us apologizing for calling so late. Of course we didn't care if she called in the middle of the night - we were just so excited it was finally happening. The agency called a bit later to let us know that she decided she wanted a closed adoption. We weren't sure what to think but were prepared to still move forward. But it would mean that IAC also couldn't call the hospital to get info, we would have to wait for a social worker to contact them. More waiting! But we forged ahead.
We were up all night (nearly) only getting a few hours sleep before getting on a plane to Indiana, Indianapolis. We had no idea if she'd had the baby, how things were going, were they still wanting to place?? So we flew with a lot of excitement and anxiety - which is difficult when your companion is your 3 year old son! We woke wyatt up at 5 and told him we were going on a trip on a plane - he was thrilled! We had decided to also not share the real reason with him until later. (When our last match failed in the hospital Wyatt had been introduced by the birthmom to his "baby sister" just 2 hours before changing her mind - it was awful to tell him she was not coming home with us. There was no way we were doing that again).
We had a quick layover which gave me a chance to call our social worker - she had heard NOTHING so we were very stressed. When we finally landed in IN we called again. She had heard this time...THE BABY WAS BORN AND WAS HEALTHY! The birthparents had not seen the baby and were ok with that. They did not want to meet us b/c the birthfather felt it would be too hard. We also found out that she was checking out of the hospital that afternoon and that the hospital was prepared to give us a suite on the maternity ward for the babys entire stay. I was blown away, gesturing to Jason that everything was ok while Wyatt was getting antsy after a 2 hour flight. Then it hit me..we didn't know the sex of the baby or any other details!! I said to our counselor, " WHAT DID SHE HAVE"????? She said, "OH, it's a boy!!" She forgot that we didn't know the sex! So then I got all the details, quickly got off the phone and excitedly told Jason everything. Finally when we got to baggage and Wyatt saw the carseat that we had checked with our luggage and asked what it was for, we explained to him that we may be bringing home a baby with us. The idea didn't seem to bother him. So we thought we'd explain more as the day progressed and not hit him with too much at once.
So we got a rental car, loaded up and took off for the hospital (and first to get something to eat). Thank goodness for the GPS my Dad got us for Christmas!!! It was an absolute LIFESAVER for this trip. So we made it to a Wendys where we quickly ate (we ate at a Wendy's on the day Wyatt was born too :)) and headed to the hospital. After about 30 minutes we were escorted to the maternity ward waiting area. I have to stop here and say that Community North hospital in Indianapolis is the most gorgeous place I've seen! I mean the waiting room had a WALL of stone fireplaces! A social worker finally came out to get us. I had such butterflies and was so nervous. The staff seemed so excited to see us! They took us into a birthing suite where we waited for them to bring the baby. Then 3 nurses came in with the cart and this gorgeous little baby with dark hair and the chubbiest cheeks. He 
was breathtakingly beautiful. He seemed too precious to even dare touching. We all just stared at him and finally someone said, "PICK HIM UP!!" The nurses had been taking care of this little fella since he was born and they were as excited as we were that he was finally meeting his family. From somewhere a photographer showed up and started taking pictures of our first few moments. I still wonder what happened to those pictures and where that person came from??? Oh, to hold this little baby was such a dream come true. That moment, and those few days in the hospital turned out to be picture perfect.
was breathtakingly beautiful. He seemed too precious to even dare touching. We all just stared at him and finally someone said, "PICK HIM UP!!" The nurses had been taking care of this little fella since he was born and they were as excited as we were that he was finally meeting his family. From somewhere a photographer showed up and started taking pictures of our first few moments. I still wonder what happened to those pictures and where that person came from??? Oh, to hold this little baby was such a dream come true. That moment, and those few days in the hospital turned out to be picture perfect. So we spent the rest of the afternoon with this tiny little miracle, marveling at all of his hair, his nearly perfectly shaped head, and miniature fingers and toes. His birthparents were checking out of the hospital and would not be able to sign the paperwork until the next afternoon at 5. Although we felt good about their committment to the adoption, nothing would be "final" until then. So we spent the night being waited on by the staff and "living" in this gorgeous suite! Wyatt LOVED the little family sleeping area complete with flat screen tv and dvd player. He has NEVER watched that much tv/movies in his life so he was pretty excited and comfortable - which made life so much easier for us. The staff also made things so wonderful! With our first adoption and also 2nd one that fell thru the hospitals were not comfortable with adoption AT ALL so that made for some very uncomfortable days - but not here! Jason and I joked that it is the closest that we'll ever get to the actual process of delivery! They waited on us, stayed and learned about our adoption journey and offered us lots of wonderful support. So our first night was exciting but long - getting used to being up all night was new to us! Wyatt had slept through the night since he was 6 weeks old :) But getting used to this again was something we couldn't wait to do.
Oh - about his name - when we got the original email from his birthmom and began regular contact - we decided we needed to be prepared with some names in case this all worked out. She was certain she was having a girl but we wanted to plan for both just in case! There was a program I found online that you could enter in all the names you liked and it would pair them as first/middle with your last name. It was awesome! We quickly were able to pick names for both sexes, so we had a few of each narrowed down. But it still was not easy! We spent that first day (sunday) getting to know him and trying to get over the reality of what was happening! We tried a few out but couldn't make up our minds. Late that evening we asked Wyatt what he thought about 2 names...sawyer or tucker? He said he liked Tucker..so it stuck! Although I have to be honest and say that it still didn't feel right until another day had passed. (Looking back I know it was the perfect name). So Tucker it was!!
We waited all day Monday - anxious, scared, excited. Everyone kept reassuring us all would be ok but having gone through a failed match at birth we were really worried nonetheless. The agency was to meet with Tuckers birthparents at 5:30 Monday afternoon. We had spent 1 night and 2 days with this gorgeous little baby boy who already had a hold of our hearts. We left the hospital around 5 for several reasons. We needed to not be with Tucker if for some reason his birthparents changed their minds, and we were so anxious we needed to get OUT and expend some energy. So we put Tucker in the nursery (where he hadn't spent any time hardly) and left. With tears in my eyes I told her our nurse we were hoping for good news and to be back in a few hours. I knew that if the outcome were not what we hoped I could not bear to go back into the hospital. We went to the mall up the street that had a great play area for kids. Wyatt loved it! So after we had dinner (it was around 6:30 at this point) we went there for a while. Both Jason and I were so nervous and kept glancing at one another fearfully. We finally decided to leave around 7. I think we both felt something had gone wrong b/c we hadn't gotten a call yet. I couldn't take it any longer and decided to page our counselor. She called back about 15 minutes later and said everything was FINE! She had left our cell at the office and had been trying to reach us at the hospital, where we were of course NOT. WHEW! I felt like an elephant had been lifted off my shoulders. I shook my head, "yes" to Jason and then got off the phone. Tears of absolute joy came rolling down. It was done. No waiting period existed in Indiana. Tucker was to be our baby. Wyatts little baby brother. Finally.
We took Wyatt back to the suite and I went to go get our son. Our son! The nurse in the nursery looked at me with a questioning look and I told her, "he's our baby!" I started crying (of course, I'm such a sap) and so did she. She gave me a hug and then handed me our baby. Not since holding Wyatt for the first time had I felt such an overwhelming sense of joy and love. Taking him back to our suite and spending time with him now was totally different. We were beginning our life together - as a family of 4.
Then the fun started! We were able to call our family and friends who had NO IDEA we were holding our new baby or that we were in another state! I had the most fun calling my mom. Jason was putting Wyatt down and the baby was fast asleep. I called and casually asked how she was. I asked if it was snowing there (it was probably around 60 in NC)? She was really confused when I told her it was snowing where we were (and we live in NC about an hour away). Finally I told her where we were and why. She was so surprised she couldn't believe it. It made me so happy to call her with such happy news. She had been so incredibly supportive during the loss of our last match. And she proceeded to call me 2-3 times a day until I made it home :))
Now I should say we kept him in the room a second night in a row b/c we were so happy and excited. But we didn't. Ha. We were so tired, emotionally, physically. Lack of sleep, stress and sleeping in a room not our own with people coming and going had taken it's toll. At around 8:30 we agreed to send him to the nursery. It was hard to let him go but we knew we would have him with us for the rest of our lives. Finally - sleep! It was great to wake up (somewhat refreshed) and ready to leave the hospital.
On the last day (Tuesday) Tucker had the big C and then after a few hours of monitoring him we were able to finally make plans to leave. At this time snow had been falling heavily all day long! We were worried we wouldn't be able to leave but the big snowfall they were expecting slowed enough for us to check out and then check in to a hotel just around the corner. I was going to have to stay until we got clearance for Tucker to cross state lines so I wanted to be in a place where I was at least familiar and also close to the hospital if there were any emergencies. Jason and Wyatt were to leave on Wednesday. It was Wyatts birthday on 2/14 and we had family flying into town. What a crazy week!
I'll never forget our first night in the hotel. Wyatt was doing a "happy dance" and Jason and I were so tired but so happy to be "on our own" with the baby finally. Being in the hospital was great but it's different when you can leave and actually walk around with the baby outside of your room :) We ordered take out from On the Border and to this day when we eat there we always recall our first night in the hotel with Tucker snuggled in his carseat, warm and loved.
The next morning I took Jason and Wyatt to the airport. It was about 30 minutes away, of course the snow was coming down, so I was a bit worried about the drive, especially coming back on my own. I had my trusty GPS but was still nervous. After dropping them off (I could tell Jason was really sad he was leaving us) I headed back to our hotel. The drive was AWFUL! The washer fluid was frozen and everytime I used my wipers to wipe off the snow everything would get dirty and then I couldn't see! It was really scary. 2 times I had to pull off (once on the side of the busy interstate) to clean the windows with snow. Dumb southern girl in a big snowy city is what I am sure I looked like. How do these people stand this weather!!! AGH! Finally we made it back to the hotel and I was certain I didn't want to leave for the next week (or 2!)
We settled in and got into our own routine. Tucker was eating a lot and often so mostly we fed, watched tv, watched the weather channel to see how much snow we would get each day (ha). We had to go out each day and I knew people were glaring at me! Normally I would not take an infant out in public but we had no choice. Once we had to switch his formula, then back again, and it seemed I was constantly needing something new for him.I watched "Juno" while in the hospital. One of my friends had suggested I watch it and well, I had nothing else to do! So Tucker and I took in a movie. Well mostly me b/c he slept through most of it :) It was ok movie about adoption. The main character was a really sarcastic, cool, girl in high school and adoptive couple very yuppy and not entirely happy with one another. So not the perfect picture of open adoption but, hey, it's getting the message out there that it exists!
Finally, after 10 days of hotels, snowy trips to Target, eating out every day, washing clothes in the sink, endless television (thank god for that americas next top model marathon :)), we got the call at 11:30 am. I was taking a nap along with Tucker and my cell rang. My mom had already called me, I had talked to Jason and work. There was noone else left to call me! It was the agency and they wanted to know if I was ready to go home. YES, YES, YES!!!! By 1:30 we were on our way to the airport. Luckily along the way were little angels who helped us with bags, getting out of rental car, etc. When I didn't have help I just dug in, threw everything together and dragged what I could as far as I could. We made it finally!!! On a snowy, 10 degree day, we made our way home.
The flight home went w/o a hitch. All flights were on time and Tucker slept through both flights. Everyone around us commented on how good he was. And of course several people told me how good I looked to have a 10 day old (HAHAHAH). One of the many wonderful things about adoption! I actually shared our story with several people along the way. Hey, whatever I can do to educate folks and make the world a better place for my children, I'm all for it! So when we touched down in Raleigh at 7:30 it was the most wonderful feeling. Jason and Wyatt finally found us in the baggage claim area. Jason was carrying Wyatt who had fallen asleep in the car (it WAS his bedtime) but he quickly woke up. He didn't seem to know what to say at first. He looked at Tucker in his carseat and then at me. It was almost like he hadn't been sure Tucker was ACTUALLY coming home with us (mostly due to the other situation that hadn't worked out). So we all climbed into the car and went home. What a great feeling to be at the end of one journey and beginning another one.....
